Professionalism and expectations

When you claim or accept a game, you’re not putting your name on a maybe. You’re telling other people that a referee will be there, and they build around it.

That’s who’s standing on the other side of a game you don’t show up for:

• Your assignor, scrambling to find a replacement, sometimes with no time left to do it.
• Your crewmates, if the game has an assistant referee or a three-person crew, now short-handed.
• Coaches, who built a lineup and a practice week around a scheduled kickoff.
• Players, standing on a field waiting for a game that might not happen.

The league itself is affected too — a game that doesn’t get covered is a hole in somebody’s schedule, not just yours.

Turning a game back is the right call when you’re sick, injured, or dealing with a family emergency. It is not the right call because something better came up. Before you claim or accept anything, confirm with your parents that you actually have a ride, and double-check your availability. Only take games you can fully commit to.

If something has already gone wrong and you need to back out, Your First Games covers exactly how to do it and how late is too late. The fuller picture of what an assignor is counting on from you, week to week, is in Working with your assignor.

Arrive 30 minutes before kickoff, already changed and carrying your gear. That is standard advice across the sources this site draws from, not just one league’s preference. It gives you time to inspect the field for hazards, sort out which goals and balls you’re using, and handle anything unexpected before players show up. Showing up late doesn’t just look bad — it delays every game scheduled after yours.

Dress the part: your uniform, in good order, no player-style gear mixed in. For what to buy and where, see equipment and where to get it. One rule worth knowing before you get to the field: no earrings or jewelry of any kind, for players or for you. If you normally wear something, take it off or tape over it before you arrive.

Conduct matters as much as appearance. The expectation, consistently, is:

• Treat players and coaches with courtesy — and expect the same back.
• Keep your composure. Don’t get pulled into an argument.
• Talk to young players about your decisions; a short explanation goes a long way at this age.
• Apply the laws fairly for the age and skill level in front of you.

None of this means tolerating abuse. If a coach or spectator crosses a line, that’s covered in when something goes wrong. And showing up is its own kind of professionalism — see this is a job for what’s at stake when you don’t.

You are allowed to stop the game. That authority is yours the moment you put the whistle on — you don’t call anyone first to ask permission, and you don’t have to justify it in the moment.

Three things call for it: a serious injury, sideline behavior that makes you feel unsafe, or conditions that have nothing to do with people at all — lightning, a hazard you find on inspection, a field gone unplayable.

Serious injury: stop play immediately. Don’t touch the injured player yourself — wave in a coach or medical personnel and keep everyone else back until they’ve been looked at. Restart once the field is clear.

A player, coach, or spectator making you feel unsafe or intimidated — not just annoyed, actually unsafe — is grounds to end the match on the spot. Tell the coaches the game is stopped, then leave the field. You don’t owe anyone an argument about it first.

Afterward, call your assignor — that’s who game-day emergencies and questions go to regardless of what caused the stoppage. If you showed a red card, some leagues also want a same-day call to a separate hotline for send-offs. Ask your assignor, before your first game, what number that is for the league you’re working, and save it in your phone next to your assignor’s — you don’t want to be hunting for it after a bad one. Either way, write up what happened as soon as you can: names, times, what you saw, nothing else. Facts get believed; opinions get argued with.

What happens to someone who abuses an official

Under Soccer-5’s rules, verbal abuse of a referee carries a minimum three-game suspension; physical contact, including spitting, carries a minimum three-month suspension — three years if the official is a minor. Other leagues have their own versions of this. If you’re worried about a specific game, ask your assignor what applies before you take the field.